Yesterday was not a good day, so I’m glad I have a long weekend. Basically the stress of the day!job finally got to me and I broke down crying while giving a colleague a tutorial on how to loan out Smartpens. I felt ridiculous but fortunately Josephine is a kind soul.
I don’t think of myself as an empath in general, but the ambient anger and low morale of the office just got to me. That’s not even factoring current events, which are in free-fall yet again. Or possibly, just remaining so. One of our interns is from Russia, and she has family on the border of Ukraine, so I sat with her for a little while while she had her own breakdown. So yeah. It was a day.
Yes, I’m scared of being untethered, of trying to make it “on my own” and going without medical insurance or a steady paycheck for a while in this devolving world, but it really has become clear to me that the alternative would be to push myself to a psychological breakdown. It’s ye olde “back up against a wall” syndrome and, having been here before, I know the symptoms well enough to change course, at least. I’d love to never, ever revisit the Epic Rupture of 2008, or even the 2012 Bog of Depression.
A long lead-in to say, I took it easy this morning. Slept in, kept the walk to a leisurely stroll around Lake Ella, and then went back to bed with a cup of hot tea and a long fanfic. Keely joined me on the bed and curled up against my legs for a nap. A stellar start to the morning!
In that vein, here is an older photo from late 2018, and wow, looking at her in this pic I see a LOT fewer gray hairs than she has now! My girl is gettin’ old…
It’s 11:00 am and I’ve made coffee and some scrambled eggs, emailed my landlord about the A/C being on the fritz, and written my (always overly optimistic) to-do list for the day. Things are as good as they can be, for now.