It was a lovely 64°F this morning, and a little drier than usual.
I was in a mood so I put my earplugs but did not turn on any music. Just used them as dampeners for most of the walk. I don’t know, maybe it’s related to my anxiety issues, but sometimes I just need to block everything out. Usually not for long, but it is restful to walk along in the world yet removed from it.
I don’t talk about my anxiety issues much, but I’m participating in an online writer’s workshop this weekend (via zoom) and realized that not talking about it doesn’t help, and can leave people confused about (and possibly upset by) some of my coping behaviors. Truly a unique insight, I’m sure! Aahahah.
It’s weird that I can discuss difficulties I’ve had with depression and PTSD but anxiety…that hits closer to my ego. What do I have to be anxious about, anyway?
I mean aside from this whole year?
*glares at calendar*
These things do not have logic, they are organic, and thus are without judgment. We, as humans, supply the judgment collectively which is then internalized. At least that has been my experience. Why should I care about walking around with ear pods in without playing music? I shouldn’t and yet it still feels embarrassing to admit.
Keely, of course, doesn’t care. Would that we could attain the enlightenment that all dogs dwell in.