I have important things I want to blog about — rape culture, the U.S. election, bullying, compassion, art — but it has been a painful day for me, physically, and I’m feeling overwhelmed by everything.
I’m fine, I’m fine; how often do we all say that to each other? Usually right on the heels of admitting that we are not fine, ironically:
“I feel like shit, I have a cold that won’t end.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
“Nah, I’m fine.”
Which is just an inane conversation, taken at face value. Why bother?
I think because we want connection, we want sympathy, we need to know that people care…but our society places tight shackles on our emotions. Any sign of vulnerability is considered weakness; any time we ask for help (aka “begging” as some like to sneer) we are viewed as failures.
Which is the opposite of true, of course. What builds relationships and strengthens their foundations is vulnerability. Mutual reliance and compassion is the only way for people to weave lives together in a healthy way.
We have so many little things to share that make us feel ashamed and broken, but those are also the things that help us relate to each other. All those great little things of life — our fears, our hopes, our illnesses, our bad days — are where we say “I’m fine” and hope that the other person sees us, even so.