dawn at Lake Ella

4/28/2020

No photograph today — while we got out early (by 5:30 am!) there was little consciousness involved. It was all muscle memory to get up, get ready, get out of the door.

It was cool out, 55°F and low humidity making for a bit of a chill strong enough for me to wear a light jacket. You know it is “cold” to me when I wear socks and sneakers instead of my usual sandals…

Keely was distracted, stopping a lot to sniff around places, so either I’m coddling her more or there are some interesting dogs visiting the park when we’re not there. This early, though, it is back to the sparse number of regulars including Duck Whisperer and the The Loner.

The other day I saw The Loner actually smile and wave at a couple of other women walking, when she’s very literally gone out of her way to avoid looking at me to the point that I assumed she was just anti-social with everyone. So it’s just me, then? Or her, perhaps, but who knows. Maybe she saw me frowning at something once (my resting bitch face is intimidating, I’ve been told) or she doesn’t like fat people or she’s scared of dogs or…who knows.

People are strange.

(Including me.)

I listened to an audio book (actually one of the Great Courses lecture series, some of them are quite good) and I take that to mean progress, mentally. I daydream so much, it sometimes infringes on my reality to the point I can’t do anything but listen to music. It’s been a coping mechanism since I was a child but the other half of that is that I enjoy it, living all the lives I could never have had in this world, where even tragedy is met with triumph.

I’m feeling melancholy still, and a distracted walk in the park in the dark seems like a metaphor when really it’s just a tiny sliver of my day.