A dark, star-lit morning for us, as I get us out the door by 5:30 am…back on schedule, maybe? Hope springs eternal!
Still, I was in a sleepy mood and just listened to a playlist of Teleman’s solos for violin. I have always loved solo violin pieces, and still long in a dark crevice of my soul for the life where my mother forced me to continue violin lessons indefinitely. How I would love to have some competence at any musical instrument, but especially the violin!
Keely was also slow moving, but perhaps of a more exploratory nature, as she was investigating every shrub and fallen, rotting bit of spanish moss we stumbled over.
There is a duck living by the Circle K now, and apparently it’s left foot got mangled somehow so it just limps around, alone, and I expect waiting for death since it cannot swim anymore. There is, I’m sure, some poetic metaphor there but all I see is how lonely life can be for even the simplest creatures. Life shows no mercy, that is certain.
Which, as I think on it, makes life precious. I do not, have not, treated my life as something of value for the majority of my life, which is fairly damning. Can you value something you don’t love? And then, knowing that, can you learn to love yourself?
Everyone has their own answers to that, of course. For me, it is about learning to separate love from worthiness; that is, caring for myself as something/one of value is not to be earned it simply must be.
Which reminds me: time to meditate.
(A habit I need to habituate myself to, again…and again…)