Somehow naps and tacos threw off my whole schedule and I am writing this at around 6 pm in the evening! No matter, I suppose.
Today’s post is a little different, a meditation on Keely, electric scooters, friends, and friendship. Bear with me?
Just over a year ago Keely almost died — she had some kind of immunosuppresant response to something (a tick bite? food? we don’t know) and her whole immune system collapsed. I honestly had no idea anything was wrong until she was in a dire situation because her mood did not change in the least, remaining upbeat and completely normal. Only when physical signs pointed to “some kind of medical issue” did I take her to vet, even then thinking something simple like a UTI. They called me later while I was at work with an earth shattering diagnosis.
Her white cell count did not exist, and all other signs were pointing to a complete organ collapse. Knowing I don’t have a car, one of the techs volunteered to take Keely over to the critical care vet clinic across town in order to save her life, a kindness no amount of money could repay. I was on the floor, in tears, and worst of all, I had no idea how I was going to cover the bill, which I knew would be thousands of dollars.
I had by that time saved up a couple of grand as emergency savings, but Keely was “in hospital” for five days. Doggy ICU is far cheaper than human ICU, but not inexpensive to someone living paycheck to paycheck.
Someone suggested gofundme, and not expecting much other than maybe a few hundred in donations to help out, I set up a campaign for Keely’s bills.
My friends rallied and I was shocked, over the course of those five days waiting to find out if would Keely survive, to find out that between my savings and their donations the bills were paid in full. Including the bi-weekly bloodwork Keely needed for the following three months!
I was tapped out and so was the gofundme but Keely lived and still lives to this day, happy and begging for treats as always.
I continue to be amazed by the outpouring of support and kindness I received just by asking for it.
That’s an obvious testament to friendship, but what, you ask, does this have to do with electric scooters?
Earlier this week in a Keely’s Way post I talked about how uncomfortable I am on public transportation, where people are barely wearing masks and the buses are not being regularly wiped down efficiently or thoroughly. I wrote that I was considering investing hundreds of dollars into buying a commuting scooter. Work is only 2.2 miles from home and I have even walked it a few times (in better weather), so it’s a perfect situation for using something like a scooter. But it’s a hunk of change and while I am financially doing okay, it was a buying decision that would have to wait a month or more.
Instead, a friend I have known since college reached out and simply bought it for me.
And I…I never know how to react to that kind of sincerity. Gratitude, of course! I am simply in awe that someone would do that for me.
Honestly it would have been easy to refuse the offer. I considered doing just that. I can afford a scooter, eventually. I’ve learned how to save money like a goddamn adult is supposed to!
But here is some hard won truth: friendship is a two way street. It is not my job to decide whether other people like me, or think I am worthy, or believe I deserve kindness and support. It hurts friendships to turn down offers of help, even when you think doing so is keeping friends from “doing too much” or “going to far.”
It hurts friendships to hold pride over connection, too.
There is much to be said for autonomy and being self sufficient, but there is a lot more to be said for leaning into the community you have, both to offer support to others and crucially to accept it for yourself.
My life has been concretely enriched by doing so — Keely’s very life is proof of that — and now my life might even be saved by not having to ride the bus to work.
I will continue to look for ways to support others, and continue to be humbled by people who want to support me.
Thank you.