This morning was lovely, at about 50°F and low(er) humidity. While Keely was very much about the snuggling on a warm bed when I first woke up, we both finally roused ourselves and headed out into the chilly autumnal weather by 6 am.
Keely enjoyed it, of course, and meandered around the sidewalk, back and forth, prancing forward a bit then stopping abruptly to sniff the air. She’s definitely getting into “old age” now (is she 12? 14? we don’t know) but still perks up when the weather is like this.
I was listening to a book recommended over the course of the weekend retreat I went to, If You Want to Write by Brenda Ueland which was first published in 1938 but has some very timely words, I think, about motivation and inspiration. 2020 was not a year of writing for me, or developing my creativity coaching/motivation business the way I wanted to. I guess that’s neither surprising nor unusual. Most writers I know, honestly, have either sunk into other hobbies (or work) as the ability to write has fled, or have written in categories they usually don’t spend much time on such as memoir or fanfiction.
I have found myself hobbled by self-doubt and a near insurmountable “fear of being seen” which is about being seen at multiple levels, not just physically but professionally and creatively. Ironic, yes?
At this point I don’t have answers, only simple things to practice such as this newsletter and fanfic and journaling. Consistency is key, I always say, but my true goal is “precise discipline.” Still defining it, though.