dawn at Lake Ella

3/17/2021 – Wednesday

I am not sure why DST hit me so hard this year, but it did. Age, maybe? In any case I am feeling so, so tired the past few days.

Given I was half asleep during our morning walk, nothing caught my eye to photograph, but I also realized I have not shared a photo of Keely in a bit so here is one I took a couple of weeks ago for twitter. Just seeing her like this makes me smile.

Other than being tired, it’s a good week so far. This morning we even got out of the house at a reasonable time (6 a.m.)! But, alas, summer is waiting for us: it was 70°F and dripping with humidity. Part of that is due to a storm front moving in from the west, bringing rain and general dampness later today, but it is a harbinger of things to come.

I am not entirely sure how I’m going to survive this summer without heatstroke. My body has never processed hot weather well, and heat strokes were a common feature of my childhood after my parents moved us to Florida. People look at me and think, “it’s because you’re fat!” and while that might contribute, I’ve never processed heat well even at my thinnest. My genetics scream for bitterly cold mountain ranges.

Which is honestly where I’d love to be. I’m thinking a lot more about moving these days. How far can I go? How much money would that take? What does it mean to leave behind the home I’ve lived in the longest in all my life? As I’ve mentioned before, this place doesn’t feel like home. But then I cannot point to any place that has, which suggests that perhaps the problem is not with any particular place but with me.