Last year (aka yesterday) I decided to Do It Different. And by “it” I mean New Year’s Eve.
For over a decade, at least, I’ve not done much on NYE other than go to bed early like any other day. I thought treating it like any other day might, somehow, protect me? From life? I don’t know. I’m generally not superstitious but I think I had set my mind on the idea that “every day should be the same” as some sort of protective talisman.
But in truth it was simply a reflection of my state of mind: scared of change, hiding from responsibility to myself and my goals, laying low and hoping for some amorphous version of “better” that I longed for but never fought for.
Late yesterday, after news of Betty White’s death hit and after watching Yibo’s utterly brilliant yet tragically heartbreaking performance of his new song, I hit the sads, the sargasso sea of pessimism. I felt defeated.
But it was New Year’s Eve, damnit, and I WANT DIFFERENT. I want BETTER.
So I got up and changed out the sheets on the bed. Put up the new, fresh shower curtain and liner that I bought over a month ago and just left sitting around. Threw out the old moldy liner. Threw out all the trash in the house. Took out the recycling.
By this point it was going on 8 p.m. but I wasn’t done.
I cleaned the kitchen — counters, floors, stovetop, tables. Put away all the clutter. Set out the fixings for cornbread and collard greens and rice and black eyed peas.
Then, much to her horror and dismay, I washed the dog. Keely was NOT down with this at all but at least I remembered to close the bedroom door so she could not take out her wet-dog revenge on my fresh sheets!
After all of that, my neighbor Larry knocked on my door to wish me a happy new year. It was his birthday, and he’s GenX like me so we related on getting oooold, and then he gifted me a bottle of wine. Cheap rose to be sure, but eh, more than I had in the house!
So I took a shower and drank some wine and watched fireworks shows online. When the clock tipped over at midnight, I was writing the next chapter in my M/M/F dragon shifter fantasy romance, The Queen’s Aerie.
Do different. Be better. Work and play hard.
I think those are good enough resolutions, don’t you?
Happy New Year!