This rant brought to you by a recent post at Wil Wheaton’s tumblr, quoting Merlin Mann (most of you know Merlin as the self-help guru; I remember him as one of the long-haired hippies living off of Palm Court at New College, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t remember me at all!). I get what Merlin is saying in that quote: stop setting yourself up for failure because all it is teaching you to do is how to fail. The implication Merlin makes is to simply stop making new year’s resolutions.
Not bad advice.
But also not good advice.
I think the real key here is to be wary of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If every year you make the same resolution, or a resolution so similar they could be the same, and every year fall short then what you need to do is look at what you think you want vs. what you obviously really want. But do NOT stop making resolutions.
Why not?
Because self-improvement is important. Having goals and a purpose is critical for happiness. A willingness to change aspects of our lives is vital, it actually improves our brains and our health.
Love yourself as you are? More well intended advice that misses the mark. Love yourself, absolutely, faults and all — a sense of worthiness is absolutely critical, and I’ll never say otherwise. Don’t hate on your body or your emotions or your life, that leads to depression and illness. But don’t use that trite advice to excuse a lack of investment in yourself.
The only people who never change are dead ones.
So, you have a choice: make outrageous new year’s resolutions, find your purpose, set goals for yourself and commit to driving the change in your life.
Or don’t, and change by the whims of fate and circumstance, and wonder where the years went and why you have so many regrets.
You should absolutely make outrageous resolutions, but maybe only one a year. Invest in that, and if you fail it, don’t shrug and accept that as inevitable. Look at your reasons and what happened to derail you and either re-commit or find the goal that really speaks to you as the prior ones haven’t.
I know, I’m one to preach, but hey I’m living the question same as you. What I know and can tell you for fact is that loving yourself for you who are is a hella lot more rewarding when you feel energized with purpose and satisfied about the changes you’ve made in your life.