Just a recipe
I skipped yesterday’s post (shame on me) and nearly today’s, I just feel hollow and pointless right now — and no, it’s not all due to election woes. There is other stuff, matters I cannot share here, but suffice to say things are well stirred up in my life.
Anyway I have nothing productive to say and I have to fix a giant helping of deviled eggs for the office “Harvest Festival” holiday party tomorrow, so I figured, what the hell. I’ll just write out the recipe, which I’ve been asked for before, because my deviled eggs are really, really popular.
Here’s the thing about deviled eggs though: it’s not about the recipe. Everyone knows how they are made and what the ingredients are, there is no mystery here and no real challenge.
EXCEPT…
The appeal of deviled eggs resides in their presentation. Poorly constructed deviled eggs should just be churned into egg salad, it’s the same thing, and less of a disaster. Proper deviled eggs are neat little slices of divinity, plump little half-eggs of yum. This is how I do it:
NIGHT BEFORE:
Boil all the eggs you need. For a party I will boil 28 eggs, assuming I’ll lose 2 at least to cracking. But here’s the secret to good deviled eggs: proper boiling technique. Well boiled eggs will shell smartly and cleanly and stay whole enough to hold the filling. Poorly boiled eggs will be impossible to shell so will turn out looking like they were cursed with a pox, and also probably falling apart.
Now, every cook has their own preferred method, and if you have one that works for you and gives you perfect eggs that are easy to shell, hurrah! Change nothing.
But if not, do this:
- Let eggs get to close to room temperature. That means letting them sit on the counter for at least an hour or two.
- Boil a large pot of water. Add salt of you want.
- When the water is at a full roil, carefully slip the room temperature eggs into the water using a slotted spoon. Go slowly. Do not drop or try to go fast.
- Put a large bowl of ice water into the freezer.
- Let the cooking water come back to a boil and cook the eggs for 10-12 minutes, depending on size.
- When time is up, immediately remove eggs and put into the bowl of ice water. Let sit 10-20 minutes.
Put boiled eggs back into the egg carton(s) and set in the fridge overnight.
MORNING OF:
In the morning, set up your station: water bowl for egg rinsing, paper towel pad, yolk bowl big enough for mixing, and a cookie sheet lined with parchment.
Cut eggs in half. Dump yolk into yolk bowl, “rinse” eggs whites in the rinsing bowl, tap them on the paper towel to remove excess water, and set them onto parchment.
When all eggs have been cut, de-yolked, rinsed, and set on parchment, put the cookie sheet with the egg whites into the fridge.
Make the filling by mixing the yolks with mayonnaise (I use Dukes for a bit of kick, Hellman’s is creamier, Miracle Whip is a sin against god, man and nature). Add about a teaspoon of mustard and a good pinch of salt. Some people like adding onion or other fancy things (capers, omg no), but really, deviled egg filling is simply yolks and mayonnaise. Everyone asks me what the secret to my recipe is and it’s no more than “keep it simple.” The shot of mustard is as fancy as I get.
Use an electric mixer to really whip it up and get it creamy, or you will be whipping it by hand for like an hour because yolks do not want to die, they will fight to stay lumpy until the bitter end.
Get the egg whites out, they should be dry after sitting uncovered in the fridge for a while. Sprinkle them with some salt.
Dump the filling into a pastry bag or just a plastic bag with a corner cut off and “pipe” the filling into the egg halves until they are all plump and delicious! This is important, because if you try to spoon the mix into the egg halves, you will create a messy disaster that no one will trust and will bring shame onto your family name. Piping it in will keep it contained and very elegant looking.
Some people dust with paprika here, or just regular pepper. As you will.
That’s it! Take to a party and everyone will be amazed at the perfection of your deviled eggs! Let’s be honest the whole point of this much work is for people to admire your food and shower you with praise.