Anyone who keeps up with me on social media knows by now that Keely was attacked by a loose dog last night. Some have asked for what happened, and I tend to work things out emotionally by writing about it anyway, so here is a tl;dr recap of the events as they went down. To the ground.

Keely and I were out for a short walk when I got home, and (for those in Tally who know the area) were walking up 7th by the LuckyGoat/Liberty parking lot. Someone was walking her pitbull towards us across it, so Keely and I shifted to keep going up the sidewalk instead of into the parking lot like we normally would. The pitty went nuts, barking aggressively, and the person walking it bent down to hold it and try to calm it down; we walked past and I thought we were in the clear.

Then I heard a scream and saw the pitty running into traffic on 7th. Honestly my first thought was concern for the dog, that it might get hit; then it barreled around and aimed straight for Keely. By the time I realized it was an attack, the pitty had a solid grip on Keely’s neck.

Here we discover that, yes, KimBoo WILL wade into a dog fight. I basically fell down on them as they were tussling, wrapped myself around Keely and tried with a free hand to get the pitty to open its mouth. Mind you, this is NOT what I would have done if I had anything planned out, this is just where I remember ending up. Not sure what that dog would have done if it had let go, as my hand and my face were right there for it to chomp on as tasty alternatives to dog-neck. There was also a lot of screaming and crying involved, so don’t think this was me being fearless, nope, I was a damn mess. Bad idea city all the way. (I mostly remember screaming “make it let go of my dog!!!” at the other person which, uh, is super pointless upon reflection.)

Me and the other girl were, as you can imagine, not having an iota of luck getting the pitty to let go. One of her co-workers had shown up and joined in, so the three of us — five with the dogs — were quite the spectacle I’m sure. Not that we were effective in any way: those dogs are STRONG like you cannot believe and it was only mouthing around in an effort to get a better hold on Keely’s neck. Anyway, there we were, a total hysterical mess on the sidewalk, and then suddenly the pitty yelped and dashed away.

I live right across from the Tallahassee Police Department headquarters, and those guys LOVE their LuckyGoat coffee, so apparently two of them were walking over and heard us screaming. One of them tazed the pitty (who we will find out is named, incongruously, Tulip) and quite frankly I don’t think anything short of that would have made that dog let go, holy shit.

Cue me sitting on the sidewalk like a toddler with my legs splayed out and bawling, clutching at Keely who really did calm down quickly once she was not in danger anymore. She’s the MVP, for sure.

There followed giving information to the cops and waiting around for Animal Control. I was a shaking, quivering mess, but Keely just plopped down and panted. The kids who own the dog are young and all work at LuckyGoat and share an apartment nearby; they had only just gotten the dog from the pound a few months ago. So for those wondering if I will press them for money, the answer is “no.” I am hoping this “brush with the law” has made them take dog owning more seriously. I hugged the girl who had been walking Tulip because she was having a nervous breakdown (as was I, to be honest) and suggested buying a better harness.

Animal Control did NOT seize Tulip, as it was her first transgression, but she is on their rolls now so if she goes after anyone again it will not end well for her. I hope she gets the help she needs to become a well-behaved and well-loved doggo. She was an absolute sweetheart when she wasn’t trying to eat my dog. :/

Meanwhile, I walked Keely down to her vet’s office where they whisked her away, drugged her up, and treated her wounds. I was told that it is a good thing she is “chunky” because the fat on her neck saved her from being more seriously injured. CHUNKY TANK POTATO FTW! <3 It cost a bit of change but now she has antibiotics and pain meds, so as far as I’m concerned it’s money well spent. She’s out of collars and back into a harness for a while as her whole neck got chewed up in the brawl.

The whole ordeal took over two hours start to finish. By the time I got home I was in full crash mode and Keely kept drunkenly flopping over mid-stride so we called it a night and went to bed. I’ve got a few bruises and my work pants barely survived in one piece, but Keely and I both made it out sans serious injuries, and that is what matters.