I truly did not want to crawl out of bed this morning, as we are in the middle of “The Wintering: Part 2” here in Florida. Which is to say, it was about 40°F and I had forgotten to set the heater to “on” before bedtime.
Keely, however, would not be deterred by cold nor pre-dawn darkness, so after jumping on me, huffing dramatically, and literally herding me around the house while I put on 4 layers of clothing, we finally made it outside. Triumph! It was, at least, not raining anymore.
Yesterday was my “day off” from working on anything outside of fun stuff, but it did not feel fun. I had gone to bed with a headache that had plagued me most of Friday, and when I woke up I felt so exhausted and sad. Not depressed, that’s something different; just sad. And then I realize that we are heading into the end of March. Always, every year since 1996, this is a time of down-turn for me. Don’t ever under-estimate the power of PTSD, friends; while the month leading up to my father’s death on April 25th, 1996 seemed to fly by at the time, it burned a neural pathway into my brain that time has dulled but not healed. At least I have learned to recognize the symptoms and be kind to myself about it. I’m not self-destructive anymore, which was a real problem for a long time. I am, however, still sad. I guess that’s just how it’s gonna be.
In the meantime, have a photo from last week! My selfie game is nonexistent, I am old and fat, and I forget how to smile when a camera is pointed at me, but this one did not turn out too bad. 🙂
